Pink and red are both good choices

Recently I've had several conversations with female friends about raising young daughters and whether or not we fight, or embrace, the girlie-girlie forces that come at us from all directions.  As progressive career women who are trying to raise strong girls, how hard should we work to deflect, or welcome, the perfectly pretty-frilly-sparkly-pink-clad gals like the Disney "princess posse," as my sister calls them.  Will it make any difference?  What's the harm?

My daughters are young, but their interests are definitely taking shape.  Three-and-a-half-year old Riloh loves the color red, bugs, creating art, exploring in the garden, jumping off/onto anything.  One-and-a-half-year old Daphne loves the color pink, sparkles, books, air conditioning, the bucket swing at the playground so her feet don't have to touch the sand.  I'm not raising them differently; I definitely don't push sparkles, or bugs.  And I love seeing them becoming individuals with unique interests.  I'm constantly trying to choose toys, books, TV programs, activities, and even clothing that is at least somewhat reflective of our diversity and the many options that come with that diversity.  Still, they both make fairly predictable choices every day.

So I wonder: are there any actual effects of these strong preferences at young ages?  Does it really matter one bit if she is crazy about princesses, or bugs, as it relates to her future goals or career ambitions?

If I'm providing them perspective ("Barbie is not an actual woman") and encouraging curiosity ("Yes I'd love to help you identify that enormous bug you just found") then perhaps I'm helping create a pathway that can lead to their future ambitions.  And that's what parents do, right?  Personally, having one daughter who leads a nation (with or without a sparkly crown), and one who can solve the bee crisis sounds pretty awesome to me.

I'd love your thoughts on this topic.  Here's a brief sampling of perspectives I came across:

An interview with the author of "Cinderella Ate My Daughter."
But honestly: since when did every little girl become a princess? It wasn't like this when I was a kid, and I was born back when feminism was still a mere twinkle in our mothers' eyes. We did not dress head to toe in pink. We did not have our own miniature high heels. What's more, I live in Berkeley, California: if princesses had infiltrated our little retro-hippie hamlet, imagine what was going on in places where women actually shaved their legs? As my little girl made her daily beeline for the dress-up corner of her preschool classroom, I fretted over what playing Little Mermaid, a character who actually gives up her voice to get a man, was teaching her.

One dad's ill-fated battle against princesses.
When a mom of one of my girls' preschool classmates told me that her daughter, previously ignorant of princess culture, had come home from school with a thorough knowledge of Disney's royal lineage, which she had attributed to my twins, I became concerned again. They were no longer just users; they had become pushers.

9 things I wish I'd known about raising a girl.

Gender-neutral childhood led to a successful career in tech.

Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor explains "princess is not a career."

Growing up: They get it

There's a sweet video circulating in social media circles that shows a 5-year-old girl becoming very upset upon realizing her baby brother isn't going to stay a baby forever.  The girl is adorable and her emotions are so sincere.  Growing up, growing old and dying are all very tricky topics to talk about with kiddos.

A NY Magazine article today looks at when kids realize they're going to grow up.  One study says children between ages 3 and 5 think that birthday parties cause aging; you don't become another year older until you have a party.  I love that.  Another study finds that even young preschoolers can understand the basic premise of aging.  They might get some of the details wrong, but they understand more than we often give them credit for.

My mother died before Riloh and Daphne were born, so we call her our special angel Grandma Pat.  They can pick Grandma Pat out in photos and Riloh is starting to remember stories that she has been told about her special angel.  Last January Riloh was looking for one of her dolls and we couldn't find it anywhere.  After a few days of searching she said to me, "I think he died, Mommy.  He's an angel now."  Woah.  Yup, she's paying attention.

Some fun extras:

This is an awesome book for recording the wonderful things your kids say.  I keep one on my bookshelf and I've given it several times as a gift.

Here's a beautiful keepsake growth chart to hang on the wall.  And this one.  And these.

Paul McCartney is in town on Sunday.  Vote for your favorite PM song here.

Stylish and motivational wall decor.

Bitten by the bug

My three and a half year old is crazy about bugs and worms and anything from a related species.  Me, not so much, but I've come to appreciate her deep fascination and awe with discovering critters of various shapes, sizes and motivations.  Our very wet spring provided a robust insect breeding environment this year -- some of those buggers are huge!

Here's an awesome tip for relieving bug bites, direct from our pediatrician: Use Adolph's meat tenderizer on mosquito bites, bee stings, all of the critter bites.  Add a few drops of water to make paste, apply directly to the bite area, leave on for a few minutes, then brush it off.  I cover the area with a band-aid or sterile gauze pad if the kiddos are squirmy.  It really reduces the swelling.  The papain in the tenderizer breaks down the protein toxins in the bites.  Who knew??  Well now we all do.  I found Adolph's in the spice aisle at Target for $2.50. 

Just For Fun: 

Because who can resist a great list of Bug Fun Facts?  And this list might give you nightmares (especially the fact about the mosquitoes.)

This is one photogenic beetle.  And pretty terrific photography (by a human).

If you haven't been to the Minnesota Zoo Big Bugs! exhibit, go.  It's fun.

So beautiful -- Genetically unusual butterflies.

This song is a perfect "earworm" for your day -- Enjoy!

Riloh discovered this baby hopper on the side of our garage.  It was less than 1/4 inch long!

Firstborns

Hey Firstborns, do you think you're smarter than your younger siblings?  Well of course you do.  But now there's a study that suggests this might actually be the case.  Birth order is an interesting topic and one that we explored this morning at ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education) class.  Personality traits have long been attributed to one's age rank in the family unit:

"The eldest child is programmed for excellence and achievement, the middle child is raised to be understanding and conciliatory and the baby seeks attention."

The author of the birth order/intelligence study found that firstborns are 16 percent more likely to pursue higher education compared to younger siblings.  She attributed this outcome in part to the aspirational personality trait of firstborns, as well as the fact that parents tend to devote more time and energy to firstborn children.

But fret not, younger siblings.  There are lots of successful middle children and babies of the family willing to prove this theory wrong.

Riloh: Mommy, will you paint my name?  Now will you paint Daphne's name? 
(Stepped away, back a minute later.)  Ahhh, sisterly love.

The Civic-minded Preschooler

This week Riloh and I boarded a school bus with some teachers, kids and parents from her preschool class to visit our state capitol for a rally in support of early childhood education.  It was a great morning; the highlight for Riloh of course was the bus ride.  But it also got me thinking about how to teach young kids about civic engagement.  I found this list Top Five: Political Books for Kids by New York Magazine that's a fun variety of reads.  It's not exactly a list of books about how a bill becomes a law, but what three year old really cares about that?  Turns out #2 on the list The Peace Book is already a favorite in our house.  We love Todd Parr books!  And the awesome Red Balloon Bookshop keeps them in stock.