About 15 years ago, Jack Johnson wrote a song about things we know are bad -- war, plastic bags, wasting water -- and how we compartmentalize them in our heads to make ourselves feel less bad.
You're too good lookin' and mistooken You could watch it instead From the comfort of your burnin' beds Or you can sleep through the static
We'll say: "It's only two plastic bags... maybe we'll get a rain barrel if we can find one that doesn't take up too much space... I feel awful about the war in Ukraine so maybe I'll send a donation... " Charles Darwin thought humans have two competing instincts: self-preservation and the impulse to help (altruism). Humans as a species are biologically predisposed to act selfishly and in the interest of self-preservation. As a result, humans are incapable of acting purely altruistically because it would lead to their own extinction.
But really, does any rational human think we can't toggle between the two and even lean a little harder into the altruism than the self-preservation? We talk to our kids about kindness and inclusion and don't be a bully. Then we involve them in activities to recycle and plant things and donate food. Sure, those are fairly easy platitudes with some low-impact actions -- especially compared to "The Ukraine war is awful with major global implications so I will sign up to to join a war zone rescue effort." Those are extreme examples, but sometimes the toggle line can be hard to find.
Today I'm thinking about the "walk the talk" sentiment, if you can't tell. And along with that, I'm thinking about navigating that fine line between altruism and self-preservation... am I being altruistic "enough"... does my $100 donation really help anything... maybe I need to watch/read more news so I can contribute meaningfully to conversations with others... ?
I don't have a lot of extra time so the "enough" question for most topics is always rattling around in my head. I try to be generous but I can't give $100 to every cause I care about. And I already consume A LOT of news, which, even as a former journalist, begins to have a numbing effect and causes anxiety and other troubling feelings. Then self-preservation quickly becomes an obvious necessity.
I guess I answer my own questions from a well-intentioned, empathetic, mindful point of view that needs to do some self-preservation to keep going with any good deeds. And probably a bit of "something is better than nothing" and "lead by example" and "if it helps just one person it's worth the effort."
So today I land on: altruism needs self-preservation and vice versa. After two years of a pandemic, so much tragedy and unrest, we are all wounded in various ways. But I think empathy and compassion are also right at the surface in most of us. Still, in order to help others we must also help ourselves. We just need to remember which way to lean a little harder when we're able.
Shock an awful thing to make somebody think
That they have to choose pushing for peace supporting the troops
And either you're weak or you'll use brut force-feed
The truth is we say not as we do
We say, "Anytime, anywhere"
Just show your teeth and strike the fear of God
Wears camouflage, cries at night and drives a Dodge pick-up