Altruism vs. Self-Preservation

About 15 years ago, Jack Johnson wrote a song about things we know are bad -- war, plastic bags, wasting water -- and how we compartmentalize them in our heads to make ourselves feel less bad.

You're too good lookin' and mistooken
You could watch it instead
From the comfort of your burnin' beds
Or you can sleep through the static

We'll say: "It's only two plastic bags... maybe we'll get a rain barrel if we can find one that doesn't take up too much space... I feel awful about the war in Ukraine so maybe I'll send a donation... "

Charles Darwin thought humans have two competing instincts: self-preservation and the impulse to help (altruism). Humans as a species are biologically predisposed to act selfishly and in the interest of self-preservation. As a result, humans are incapable of acting purely altruistically because it would lead to their own extinction.

But really, does any rational human think we can't toggle between the two and even lean a little harder into the altruism than the self-preservation? We talk to our kids about kindness and inclusion and don't be a bully. Then we involve them in activities to recycle and plant things and donate food. Sure, those are fairly easy platitudes with some low-impact actions -- especially compared to "The Ukraine war is awful with major global implications so I will sign up to to join a war zone rescue effort." Those are extreme examples, but sometimes the toggle line can be hard to find.

Today I'm thinking about the "walk the talk" sentiment, if you can't tell. And along with that, I'm thinking about navigating that fine line between altruism and self-preservation... am I being altruistic "enough"... does my $100 donation really help anything... maybe I need to watch/read more news so I can contribute meaningfully to conversations with others... ?

I don't have a lot of extra time so the "enough" question for most topics is always rattling around in my head. I try to be generous but I can't give $100 to every cause I care about. And I already consume A LOT of news, which, even as a former journalist, begins to have a numbing effect and causes anxiety and other troubling feelings. Then self-preservation quickly becomes an obvious necessity.

I guess I answer my own questions from a well-intentioned, empathetic, mindful point of view that needs to do some self-preservation to keep going with any good deeds. And probably a bit of "something is better than nothing" and "lead by example" and "if it helps just one person it's worth the effort."  

So today I land on: altruism needs self-preservation and vice versa. After two years of a pandemic, so much tragedy and unrest, we are all wounded in various ways. But I think empathy and compassion are also right at the surface in most of us. Still, in order to help others we must also help ourselves. We just need to remember which way to lean a little harder when we're able.

Shock an awful thing to make somebody think

That they have to choose pushing for peace supporting the troops

And either you're weak or you'll use brut force-feed

The truth is we say not as we do

We say, "Anytime, anywhere"

Just show your teeth and strike the fear of God

Wears camouflage, cries at night and drives a Dodge pick-up

The beat and stop hogging the feast

That's no way to treat an enemy

Research suggests being socially mindful is the “default setting” for people and that acting in their own interest (or against another’s) takes more effort.

Patriotism and altruism won't sell the COVID vaccine. "Save yourself" is the most effective sales pitch. 

Is the news cycle stressing you out? Here are four tips.

The 10 friendliest animals on earth. 

Capybara t-shirt

Amanda Gorman print on Etsy