Recently I've had several conversations with female friends about raising young daughters and whether or not we fight, or embrace, the girlie-girlie forces that come at us from all directions. As progressive career women who are trying to raise strong girls, how hard should we work to deflect, or welcome, the perfectly pretty-frilly-sparkly-pink-clad gals like the Disney "princess posse," as my sister calls them. Will it make any difference? What's the harm?
My daughters are young, but their interests are definitely taking shape. Three-and-a-half-year old Riloh loves the color red, bugs, creating art, exploring in the garden, jumping off/onto anything. One-and-a-half-year old Daphne loves the color pink, sparkles, books, air conditioning, the bucket swing at the playground so her feet don't have to touch the sand. I'm not raising them differently; I definitely don't push sparkles, or bugs. And I love seeing them becoming individuals with unique interests. I'm constantly trying to choose toys, books, TV programs, activities, and even clothing that is at least somewhat reflective of our diversity and the many options that come with that diversity. Still, they both make fairly predictable choices every day.
So I wonder: are there any actual effects of these strong preferences at young ages? Does it really matter one bit if she is crazy about princesses, or bugs, as it relates to her future goals or career ambitions?
If I'm providing them perspective ("Barbie is not an actual woman") and encouraging curiosity ("Yes I'd love to help you identify that enormous bug you just found") then perhaps I'm helping create a pathway that can lead to their future ambitions. And that's what parents do, right? Personally, having one daughter who leads a nation (with or without a sparkly crown), and one who can solve the bee crisis sounds pretty awesome to me.
I'd love your thoughts on this topic. Here's a brief sampling of perspectives I came across:
An interview with the author of "Cinderella Ate My Daughter."
But honestly: since when did every little girl become a princess? It wasn't like this when I was a kid, and I was born back when feminism was still a mere twinkle in our mothers' eyes. We did not dress head to toe in pink. We did not have our own miniature high heels. What's more, I live in Berkeley, California: if princesses had infiltrated our little retro-hippie hamlet, imagine what was going on in places where women actually shaved their legs? As my little girl made her daily beeline for the dress-up corner of her preschool classroom, I fretted over what playing Little Mermaid, a character who actually gives up her voice to get a man, was teaching her.
One dad's ill-fated battle against princesses.
When a mom of one of my girls' preschool classmates told me that her daughter, previously ignorant of princess culture, had come home from school with a thorough knowledge of Disney's royal lineage, which she had attributed to my twins, I became concerned again. They were no longer just users; they had become pushers.
9 things I wish I'd known about raising a girl.
Gender-neutral childhood led to a successful career in tech.
Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor explains "princess is not a career."
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